You hear stories on the news about this every once in a while. Some poor schmuck rents a video camera so that he can film himself and the wife as he’s giving her a beef injection. This, supposedly, is some kind of turn-on because one can look back and critique one’s own performance(s). I would venture to say that in laying it (pardon the expression) all down on tape affords one the opportunity to run the gamut of trying out all of one’s sexual fantasies as well.
However, something invariably goes wrong. Our little Alfred Hitchcock might not think to rescue the tape from the camera in time and returns it, along with the camera. To make matters worse, within days of that time someone else has gotten a hold of the tape and – viola! – it’s been posted on the internet!
One of these unintentional amateur porn stars, as I recall, was a Sheriff’s Deputy and his ladylove.
Now it could be that I have an innate sense of paranoia or maybe it’s just that I have seen too many movies about camera enthusiasts who are voyeurs and run a hotel/motel/apartment building with monitors all over the place. Whatever the case, Karen and I have NEVER filmed ourselves. Nor have we ever engaged in any of that “slap and tickle” behavior in a hotel room.
Well, ok, once, but it was in the summer of 1994.
So if there’s a sex tape out there of a couple who innocently poured Mr. Bubble into a Jacuzzi (they surely didn’t know that you are not supposed to do that) and if there’s a naked gal cuddled up to a naked guy in a cowboy hat who refers to himself as “Big Bob and his Baloney Pony”, that’s not us.
For the record,“Big Bob” doesn’t do autographs and neither does his “Baloney Pony”, so don’t ask.
I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. De Mille…..
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